Aug 15 2011
When Confidence Meets Arrogance …
In my last post, I made a case for “confidence” being one of the defining factors of all successful people we know, and I wrote …
“It is their inner belief that they can achieve anything they want to achieve, and enjoy as much success as they wish – however they personally define success.”
The post prompted a comment from Todd Spare who asked …
“This was another (always) interesting post. Thanks. I am wondering how best to test for the confidence level you discuss when interviewing prospective sales personnel. (If it has not been clearly demonstrated in past performance records). I believe “over” confidence displays itself in cockiness and conceit and that amount of confidence is harmful (to me, my company and the salesperson himself) in the long run. Any thoughts on how to test for the “right” confidence level ???”
My response …
“Hi Todd,
There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance (cockiness). Confident people understand the need to continually learn and expand their commercial bandwidth. They understand what they know, but equally recognize what they don’t know. Conversely, arrogant people think they know it all, and as a consequence, don’t know what they don’t know!”
And that really is the point: Crossing that line from confidence to arrogance is so, so easy.
One can very easily formulate a list of political leaders; military leaders; artists; sporting icons; and even so called sales “gurus” – whatever interpretation you apply to that word – who were the architects of their own demise, because quite simply, they allowed their egos to rule their heads. They forgot their roots. They forgot the people who helped them on the way up – the same people who would inevitably suffer a similar loss of memory as our heroes travelled in the opposite direction downwards.
Humility is, in my view, one of the most admirable and rare traits of the truly successful: Take as an example the first interview in a new series we are launching for the Top Sales World magazine in September. Linda Richardson interviewed Gerhard Gschwandtner. Here we have two people at the very top of their game: The one who has created arguably the most successful global sales training company, written a host of best-selling books, serves on all the important sales-related committees, and is quite rightly acknowledged as the “significant” female sales thought leader of our generation. The other has created the empire that is Selling Power, and who continually prompts us to revise our thinking.
Their common characteristic? It’s that word again – HUMILITY. For example, whenever I need to communicate with them, I always receive a very prompt response. It is never “I am free at 11:45am Eastern next Thursday” but rather “Jonathan, I am free on xxxxxxx, which is best for you?”
I do not receive special treatment. I know that they are equally generous and thoughtful with everyone, because quite simply, they are not arrogant – they are quite simply confident!
“Getting it” means different things for different people: Mrs Konrath first alerted me to the expression five years ago, and since then I have had the opportunity to better understand what she meant by it.
To me, it means “Win-win” and “Give and take” but usually “Give first (and generously) and ask questions later”
In fact, I intend to write an article on the topic, and reveal all the incredible people in my own network who really “get it” and those who think they do!!
The underlying message of this post is this: It really doesn’t matter how good you think you are, there will always be people who are better, and your ambition should be to emulate them.
Even if you think you know everything there is to know about your chosen topic, respect others who know everything there is to know about their chosen topic – being myopic is a very unattractive trait.
Everyone you meet in this world will know something you don’t know – do not be misled by their status, because status has no relevance when it comes to wisdom. Some of the most interesting and mind-expanding conversations I have ever had, have been with people in very humble situations – they probably couldn’t spell “arrogance” let alone describe it!
News: So, you are a person responsible for managing, leading, mentoring, training, developing and creating successful sales teams? But who inspires, develops, mentors you?
A quick Google search for “Sales Management Sites” should quickly convince you of the paucity of such resource locations. Fret not, help will shortly be at hand – think www.topsalesmanagement.com launching mid-September: Then think of all the very best sales management experts in the world, all gathered in one place to bring you the very best .. well, resources! More soon.
I m always surprised at how many people say to me Don t some people you work with become really arrogant? .Other people think that I m arrogant because I assume to know how to make people become self-confident. They think that I stride around being full of myself while I tell people how to be outwardly self-confident..A bit of striding once in a while never hurt anyone but Im surprised because they couldnt be further from the truth. I coach people on bringing out their natural inner confidence and am probably the least arrogant bloke you could meet.
“Even if you think you know everything there is to know about your chosen topic, respect others who know everything there is to know about their chosen topic – being myopic is a very unattractive trait.”
Exactly. And don’t speak in industry terms to each other. You might as well have the a conversation in two different languages.
.By ..Self confidence is the ability to trust your own decisions and instincts.People that posses a great amount of self confidence are often successful focused and flexible individuals who can handle any situation life may throw at them. ..People that are self confident prove so by their actions not their words.