Jan 14 2010
Before Looking Outwards, We Must Look Inwards
To understand how we can communicate and therefore sell more effectively, we need to understand the human communication process.
Every minute our unconscious mind absorbs over two million pieces of information through our senses. We are bombarded with sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches. Yet according to Professor George Miller from Harvard University, we can only process around seven chunks of information consciously at any given moment. That’s an awful lot of information that our conscious mind chooses to ignore or to be more accurate, delete! This means that every individual will process information based on what they are focusing on at that time.
The information that enters our unconscious mind goes through three filters to reach our conscious mind. We delete most of it because there is no way that our conscious mind could cope with what is held in the unconscious mind. We distort the information based on our current situation.
For example, a child may interpret the ordinary sounds of a central heating system very differently if they are left alone in the house. This is why, sometimes people can completely misinterpret what we are saying to them, and they are distorting the information because they are focusing on a different meaning to the one we wanted to convey.
We also generalize information. For example; once we have learned what a chair looks like we can instantly identify other ‘chairs’ even though we haven’t seen every type of chair. We can generalize the way most doors are opened, how most cars are driven and even how to identify when a person is either male or female.
After the information has been filtered into our conscious mind, there are only four things we can do with it inside our heads…we make pictures, sounds, we talk to ourselves or we have feelings. The combination of these things creates an emotion that has an effect on our physiology.
For example; if we feel embarrassed we might blush, if we feel angry we may tighten up our muscles. Every thought we have affects our body and the way we move our body affects our thinking. Our mind and body are totally interconnected.
If you observe someone suffering from depression, they are often round shouldered, they look down a lot and many of them will be using a lot of negative self talk, “why does this always happen to me?” “I’m useless, what’s the point?”
Contrast this to a person who feels really confident, they stand upright, their shoulders are back and they use eye contact. Because every thought we have affects our body, this means that our emotional state also affects our behavior, which consequently affects and influences the results we get.
Therefore, if we want to change aspects of our lives, including the way our prospects and customers react to us, first we have to change our own thinking.
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“Do you want to be in complete control of your business, but recognize the coexisting need for “peeps”? You need communications experts, business strategists, successful and classy people on your team without having to hire pricey consultants. Here is the manual to start and run yours. Ready, set. . .” HERE
Well said, Jonathan.
We not only interpret experiences but we also interpret other people’s interpretations. Not to be silly, but we seem to spend an incredible amount of time wondering whether others are pleased by our activities rather than leading (as you wrote about yesterday).
This is also why in hunting big deals it is so very important to be focused on your customer. You’ll pick up those 6-7 simultaneous nuances that other guy was too busy to miss because he was just talking about himself.
Great thoughts for a great day!
Dan Waldschmidt
Dan,
I picked up on “we seem to spend an incredible amount of time wondering whether others are pleased by our activities” and thought you would enjoy this….
The Pleasure of Walking Tall:
“Your security, believe it or not, affects the way you stand, the way you walk, in short, your physical well being and self-confidence. A person without security is always running. They must take the first job offered, or nearly so. They sit nervously on life’s chair because any small emergency throws them into the hands of others. Without security, a person must be too grateful.
Gratitude is a fine thing in its place but a constant state of gratitude is a horrible place in which to live. A person with security can walk tall. They may appraise opportunities in a relaxed way, have time for judicious estimates and not be rushed by economic necessity.
A person with security can afford to resign from their job if their principles so dictate. A person always concerned about necessities, such as food and rent, education for children, can’t afford to think in long range career terms. They must dart to the most immediate opportunity for ready cash. Without security, they will spend a lifetime of darting and dodging.
A person with security can afford the wonderful privilege of being generous in family or neighbourhood emergencies. They can take a level stare into the eyes of any person – friend, stranger or enemy. It shapes their personality and character”.
The best security you have in this world is you. Your efforts, your leadership and your ability to develop others as leaders.”
JF