We have an inbuilt tendency to conform to the other person’s behaviours and if we instinctively feel that conforming is possible, then we will start the process of building rapport.

As people, this process happens instinctively and can be evidenced by sharing the same mannerisms, voice qualities and gestures. This means that when two people are in rapport they show a tendency towards a behavioral compromise.

It’s easy to spot two close friends who share similar gestures, facial expressions, verbal expressions and postures, to such a degree that they could be mistaken as being closely related. This is due to the fact that the long-term mutual rapport creates a strong behavioral bond. Even when these two friends disagree on something, they manage to keep rapport alive.

The process we use unconsciously to build rapport can be replicated with conscious awareness, a useful skill for a Sales person to learn. This process can be likened to matching and mirroring a person’s behavior to create a perceived likeness. When we match a person’s mood, their gestures, facial expressions, we are better equipped to start experiencing how they feel at any given moment.

Doing so, we obtain that the person observing us will find mirrored in us their emotional state, their way of living at that moment, and all this will increase the chances that they will see in us someone that they can trust.

If we have built sufficient rapport it then becomes possible to lead a person towards where we would like them to go, or what we would like them to do. At an unconscious level they will know that by refusing it (shown by not matching or mirroring you) they will be refusing to build rapport with themselves.

Through unconscious identification they are already convinced that you are experiencing what they are experiencing, therefore anything you will manage to do they will feel that it’s something they can do as well.

Today’s News:

Regular visitors will recall my total IT blackout recently due to a lightening strike. Those of you with “super recall” powers may even remember me moaning about the appalling standards of French customer service?

Well just in case you may have thought I was exaggerating, let me relate the sorry tale, which after yesterday’s experience, I now feel compelled to do.

Finding reliable IT support in France is almost impossible, so we tend to work on an “as needs” basis. As a consequence, when we got hit, I immediately contacted FNAC, France’s largest IT retailer and registered for their “SOS” service. I took the Platinum option – three hours on site consultancy for 200 Euros (about $300). That’s when my problems really began…

It was only after registering, and paying my 200 Euros that I discovered it would take them up to five days to confirm when they would come out, and up to another three days to actually arrive!! Thank goodness I didn’t opt for the Bronze SOS service…”we will be with you sometime in 2010?”

Obviously I cancelled.

The most incredible part of this story? So here we are almost four weeks on, and they still have my money, so yesterday I phoned them. After being transferred around nine different departments, I eventually spoke to a “Refunds Supervisor” who informed me that the person with the responsibility for re-ordering cheque books had forgotten, so they had no cheques – can you believe it? And… they will not have the new cheque books for another three weeks.

So, the next time I complain about French customer care, you will understand why.

FFF (Frustrated Francophile Farrington)

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